July 2010
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Just looking at 100 Layer Cake and planning my...
The only good parts of today were the hour I spent in the park and the invitation to a vegan ice cream social on Wednesday. Otherwise there has been a lot of tearing and a finger stuck in a step ladder.
WatchI got to hang out with my friend Belkis on Saturday. We spent the day in Central Park and found this drum circle thing. This is a video of her learning how to belly dance. Then we found a house music dance party and I danced with an old man with lots of spinning and then I danced with a guy who was wearing roller skates. It was a fun Saturday.
Don't google image search sexy dog.
Just don’t do it. Shudder, shudder, shudder ow.
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Perfect Life
I have a dream that one day someone will invent a device where after you style your hair and get it perfect, the device will photograph it and project it as a hologram onto your head. You will even be able to have a library of your best hair days for when things just aren’t working out.
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I am so fucking brilliant.
New rule. Before hooking up with a dude, always try to get a back massage first. This way you will see, as I did last night, that just because a dude looks like Nick Jonas, it does not follow that he will touch you the way you like. Some guys are feather light lovers and that’s alright but it isn’t for me.
UPDATE
Dude us single brbaking moves
So I’m out and this guy looks like Nick Jonas and he is funny and hot and interested seeming but his gf is right there what the heck world???!!?
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Ithrew up guys.
I made friends with some drunk Hasids and I threw up in a trash can and I won 15 dollars in drinks from bingo and ithrew up.
Who was the awkward model girl from season three...
She is totally bff with the guy in charge of this bingo game.
Also.
In trying to use black kohl eyeliner it will be melted and a chunk of it will fall onto your hip and at one point you will rub it down your side and end up with a stripe very similar to that of zebras (pronounced zeh-brahs).
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You brought roses to her at pinkberry??!! WHAT....
So guess who just posed in front of a mirror in...
If anybody decides to take a picture of my ass side, I will know exactly how to make it sexy.
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Should I marry Kocoum?
I was so wrong. So wrong.
I always said that I think every baby animal is cute. I was so lying. I just saw the MTA man putting garbage in the garbage room at Union Square and I sincerely do not want to remember how many rats I saw coming out from under that door. And ugh. The baby subway track rats are NOT cute. They are just way easier to imagine coming into your house. Thank god they were on the other platform or I might...
I'm going to Shakespeare in the Park!
My friend Lauren won tickets for tonight and now I get to go and be “cultured” and all that. Maybe I will wear pearls and then I am going to pretend that I know what is going on and then maybe I will get to make out with a smart boy in glasses.
Dinner For Schmucks.
I got to watch Dinner for Schmucks for free last night. I had seen the trailer for it and was thinking it might be kind of lame-ish but it was free so I went. I was so so wrong. I haven’t seen a movie where so much of the audience laughed consistently in years and years. Also, I want to watch the parts where Jemaine Clement is shirtless (there are several) on repeat. The movie...
IT IS 90 DEGREES AT 9AM. THIS IS NOT HEALTHY.
I have Heart lyrics in my brain about dreams.
When I was in 1st grade I had a project in art class with clay and all the kids had to carve their initials in the bottom but, UNFAIRLY, there was a boy named Adam Fuller in my class and I had to write out my whole first name. Obviously this was a really hard point in my life since I still remember it.
Last night I had a dream that I somehow ended up getting married to Adam Fuller but then...
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I just walked by Matthew grey gubler on Houston and he was holding hands with a girl with very bushy eyebrows. Then I saw two rats frolicking.
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